I recently conducted a poll on Instagram asking my followers if they had ever been rejected by a friend who joined a more popular group. Shockingly, 100% of them had gone through this experience. In The Brave Girl Tribe, this is a common topic among the girls.
Pursuing popularity can be problematic as it often overrides healthy social skills. For teens, popularity is more about social dynamics and seeking power and status, which can lead to fear and aggression among peers.
A study from the University of Virginia found that preteens who were most concerned about being popular tended to act older and more mature and were more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors. Interestingly, the group of tweens who acted more mature were the more popular kids in middle school but were the least socially successful as young adults.
To help your daughter seek genuine friendships rather than the pull of popularity, ask her what qualities she values in her friends and if her current friends meet those qualities. Encourage her to be authentic and true to herself in her relationships.
For further guidance, I have an excellent journaling page to help you and your daughter explore these questions together. Download now
"Staying positive is a skill in a world full of stress and worries!"