Many parents ask me for advice on supporting their daughters through the emotional turmoil of friendship troubles.
One common question arises: "Should I contact the girl's parents who are being mean to my daughter?"
I understand how confusing and upsetting it is when our daughter's experience hurt, and as a parent, you are actively seeking ways to support her. It's natural to wonder if reaching out to the parents of the girl causing distress would be beneficial.
With three decades of experience working with children and parents, I've found that reaching out to the other parent often doesn't yield the desired results you, as a parent, are hoping for.
Talking to the parents of the child who is causing issues can be complex and delicate.
Plus, there are different factors to consider before contacting the other parent.
The foremost consideration is whether your daughter desires your assistance and believes contacting the other parents would be constructive.
It's crucial to avoid a...
We all have those moments when our minds seem stuck in a never-ending loop, like a hamster running on a wheel.
Recently, I have found myself on a hamster wheel replaying a problem repeatedly, and I have noticed I am not alone, as many of my coaching clients are also stuck on their own hamster wheels.
That is why I wanted to share with you information about rumination.
Rumination is a term that describes a common pattern of thinking that many of us experience at times. When we are ruminating, we repeatedly focus on a problem, a loss, or a setback without moving forward into taking action.
For parents and teen girls, rumination often involves obsessing about issues, replaying them in your mind, and getting lost in those thoughts. This constant replaying can deepen feelings of anxiety, sadness, or even self-blame. It's like being stuck in a loop where you can't let go of these negative thoughts, which continue to affect your mood and well-being.
It's essential to recognize that,...
Were you ever part of the Girl Scouts?
I was and absolutely cherish the opportunities to engage with different troops. I have the privilege of working with remarkable Girl Scout troops and focusing on the importance of recognizing how relationships can have a powerful impact on us and the value of inclusivity.
Navigating relationships can indeed be quite a challenge. As parents and mentors, we often find ourselves seeking ways to support the incredible girls in our lives.
In Katie Hurley's insightful book, "Mean Girls No More," she offers invaluable tips for nurturing healthy friendships. I'm excited to share these insights with my Girl Scout friends and wanted to pass them along to you as well.
How To Handle Friendship Challenges
Friendships, as beautiful and fulfilling as they can be, are not always smooth sailing. We've all encountered the stormy seas of misunderstandings, conflicts, and the inevitable ups and downs of maintaining meaningful connections.
In 2016-2017, ROX Institute's Girls Index Survey found that a staggering 76% of girls reported that they believe most girls are in competition with each other. This statistic has left a lasting impression on me and evokes a sense of sadness.
This staggering statistic reminds us of a troubling truth. While friendships hold the potential to be incredible sources of support and joy, they can also become tangled webs of competition and misunderstandings, particularly among young girls. It highlights the urgent need to equip ourselves and our daughters with the tools to foster healthier, more collaborative connections.
How can we help our girls become champions of other girls?
Helping girls become champions of other girls involves fostering a culture of...
In the last blog, we began a journey to help our daughters overcome shyness and anxiety in social situations. We explored the beliefs and assumptions that often contribute to these feelings. Today, we're delving deeper and providing strategies to change those anxiety-provoking thoughts.
It's crucial to recognize that our beliefs are not facts; they are merely guesses or hypotheses about how things are.
Here are some questions to help both parents and girls navigate this process:
How do I know for sure that my prediction will come true? Challenge the certainty of your thoughts. Just because you believe something doesn't mean it's guaranteed to happen.
What do my past experiences tell me about the likelihood of my thoughts coming true? Reflect on past situations where you had similar ideas. Were your predictions accurate, or did things...
Parents often ask me how they can help their shy daughters make friends. When I am asked this question, it makes me think of my younger self. One thing you may not know about me is I was a shy girl growing up. I often worried about what other people thought of me and if people would like me.
I understand how challenging it can be to make new friends. During those moments of trying to connect with others, it can feel lonely, and it might seem like it's taking an eternity to form meaningful bonds.
As a parent, I also know that this journey can leave you feeling powerless, wishing that others could see just how special and unique your daughter truly is.
The first step in supporting both our daughters and ourselves is becoming aware of our beliefs and assumptions about ourselves.
Shy teen girls may have various beliefs that contribute to their shyness or social anxiety. These beliefs can be limiting and affect their ability to make friends and engage in social situations.
"Remember, You are bigger than your anxiety!"
As the new school year dawns, it's natural to feel a whirlwind of excitement, nervousness, and perhaps a touch of anxiety. But guess what? You are not alone in this journey, and you are stronger than you think.
Embracing change, like starting a new school year, can be overwhelming, especially with thoughts of shifting friendships, unfamiliar teachers, and the maze of multiple classes. But fret not because I am here to guide you through these challenges and help you rediscover your inner strength.
1. Embrace Change as Growth:
Change can be intimidating, but it's also an opportunity for growth. Just like a butterfly emerges from its cocoon, you have the power to transform and adapt. New school years bring chances to meet new people, learn exciting things, and discover aspects of yourself you never knew existed. Embrace the unknown with an open heart, and you'll find that even the most daunting situations can become rewarding...
Starting a new school year can be exciting but can also bring challenges, especially for children without close friends in their classes.
Understanding the Emotional Impact:
When a child realizes they're not in class with their close friends, it can trigger strong emotions like sadness, worry, and even anger. Acknowledging and understanding these emotions is crucial for parents. Start by recognizing the significance of the situation and how it might affect your child emotionally. Remember, your child's feelings are valid, and creating a safe space to express themselves without judgment is essential.
7 Tips for Parents
Manage Your Own Emotions:
Parents play a vital role in helping their children cope with these feelings. Begin by managing your own emotions, expectations, and fears. If you've requested specific classmates for your child and the request wasn't met, it's natural to feel upset. However, remaining calm and centered is essential for supporting your child effectively.
As parents, we embark on a beautiful journey with our children, witnessing their growth and development at every step.
Along this path, we encounter moments of joy, laughter, and love, but we also face challenges and complexities that can be overwhelming.
As our children grow and navigate new emotions, they may struggle to find the right words to express what's happening inside. That's where the "Feeling Wheel" becomes an invaluable tool – a compass guiding the ups and downs of emotions in our homes or even during car rides.
We want to help our kids to develop their emotional literacy and learn how to describe emotions beyond "Happy," "Sad," "Mad," and "Scared." When we ask our children how they feel, their answers are often limited.
"Happy," "Sad," "Mad," and "Scared" are fundamental emotions, but the richness of our emotional landscape extends far beyond these four labels. The Feeling Wheel unlocks a treasure trove of emotions, giving our children a vocabulary to...
Hi Brave Friends,
This last week in The Brave Girl Tribe, my virtual online community for girls in 5th to 8th grade, one of my girls asked for tips on how to handle if you have a friend that is nice to you but mean to other people and you are starting middle school together in the fall.
It can be a challenging situation to navigate. Here is the advice that I shared with her to help her manage this situation:
1. Recognize their behavior: Acknowledge that your friend might struggle with social skills or feel insecure around new people. This can help you approach the situation with empathy and understanding.
2. Discuss their behavior privately: Find an appropriate time to talk to your friend privately. Express your observations about how they come across to others and how it might affect their ability to form new friendships. Be gentle and non-judgmental in your approach.
3. Offer constructive feedback: Provide specific examples of situations where their behavior may have...