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The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

The Sting of a College Rejection Letter: Support for Parents and Teens

Dec 03, 2024

December is a month full of excitement, anticipation, and, for many high school seniors, ANXIETY.

For students who applied to colleges for early action or early decision, December 15th is a pivotal date when many colleges send out their admissions decisions. This year, as I walk through this process with my son—also a senior—I’m acutely aware of how these moments can shape not only the future but also the present emotional well-being of our children.

For many students, the college application process is an all-consuming journey: A carefully curated portfolio of advanced classes, extracurricular activities, volunteer work, and countless hours of preparation. So, when the time comes to open that letter or email from their dream school, it feels like everything hinges on the outcome. The stakes feel high, and for many girls, this process is even more emotionally charged.

But what happens if the letter says "NO"?

The sting of a college rejection can feel...

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Supporting Your Daughter Through Her First Break-Up

Nov 20, 2024

I recently helped one of my coaching clients navigate her first breakup—a painful but significant milestone for so many of us. I can still remember my own first heartbreak back in 1990. At the time, Sinead O’Connor’s Nothing Compares 2 U was all over the radio, and it quickly became my heartbreak anthem. To this day, I hear that song and feel the tug of those old emotions.

Because heartbreak is such a universal experience, it’s no wonder that watching our daughters go through it can be especially tough. We might worry about how this breakup will impact her—whether it will shake her confidence or make her wary of future relationships. The impulse to shield her from pain is natural, but the truth is, these experiences can also be powerful opportunities for growth. With the right support, she can come through this stronger and more resilient.

Here are some compassionate, research-backed ways to help your daughter heal and find her strength...

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Teaching Your Daughter to Respond to Mean Behavior with Confidence

Oct 23, 2024

Is your daughter struggling with a mean or disrespectful friend in her group?

Many girls I work with in coaching share this same challenge. It's heartbreaking to see how deeply it affects them, especially within their friendships.

Together, we explore why some people behave this way and, most importantly, how your daughter can respond with confidence and strength. By learning these skills, she can take back control of the situation and feel more empowered in her relationships.

When someone is mean or intentionally condescending, their goal is often to get an emotional reaction. They feel powerful when they provoke a response from others, and that reaction gives them the control they want.

Encouraging your daughter to recognize this can be a game-changer. Instead of reacting emotionally—whether by defending herself or becoming apologetic— Use these 6 steps


1. Pause Before Reacting: The first thing your daughter can do when someone is mean or condescending. By...

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How To Handle Your Daughter's Tough Emotions: Emotional Dumping

Oct 17, 2024

It can be so tough supporting our daughters through their ups and downs. I know that it can feel overwhelming at times, especially when it seems like we’re carrying the weight of their emotions.

That’s why this week, I recorded a podcast episode just for you on How To Handle Your Daughter's Tough Emotions Without Feeling Overwhelmed: Tips for Moms. 

In the episode, we explore what emotional dumping looks like, how to spot when it’s happening, and, most importantly, how to guide our daughters toward handling their own emotions in healthy ways. If you're short on time, here’s a sneak peek at some key takeaways that you can apply today:

1. Venting or Problem-Solving?

One of the most helpful ways to manage these tough conversations is to ask your daughter, "Do you just want to vent, or are you looking for advice?" This simple question sets the tone, so you're not left guessing whether she wants a listening ear or help...

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7 Strategies for Parents Dealing with Passive-Aggressive Daughters

Oct 10, 2024

In our ongoing conversation about the complexities of mother-daughter relationships, this week we're tackling a particularly tricky subject that many of us encounter: passive-aggressive behavior in our teens.

Building on our previous discussion about supporting our daughters through passive-aggressive friendships, if you didn't get a chance to read last week's newsletter check out our blog post on The 5 Signs That Your Daughter Has A Passive Aggressive Friend.

Let's explore how these behaviors can emerge at home and what we can do to address them effectively.

What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior?

Passive-aggressive behavior is often a form of expressing anger or resentment indirectly. This can manifest through sarcasm, procrastination, or silent forms of resistance like the silent treatment or subtle sabotage. It's a sign that our teens may struggle with openly communicating their frustrations, often due to feelings of insecurity or an underdeveloped ability to...

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How to Support Your Daughter When She Dislikes Her Teacher: Tips for Parents

Sep 10, 2024
 

It's not uncommon for our daughters to come home early in the school year and share that they're not thrilled about a teacher.

This can be frustrating, especially when we're all hoping for a smooth start. Here are some ways we can support our daughters through this challenge:

Listen and Validate Her Feelings
Give her space to talk about how she's feeling without jumping to conclusions or judgments. Listen closely and show empathy. It’s okay for her to feel upset or frustrated, and acknowledging these feelings can make a big difference.

Understand the Root of the Issue
Gently ask questions to find out what's really going on. Is it a clash in personalities, a teaching style that doesn’t resonate, or a specific incident? If you can, try to observe a class or have a brief chat with the teacher to get a broader perspective.

Encourage Problem-Solving
Guide your daughter in pinpointing the exact issues she's facing. Together, brainstorm ways she might address these concerns. For...

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How to Support Your Daughter Through Back-to-School Challenges

Aug 26, 2024

As the new school year begins, many of our daughters are facing back-to-school challenges, which can bring up feelings of exclusion, loneliness, and uncertainty. I've heard several girls share common experiences during this time:

  • "My friends are talking about things that I am not a part of since I'm not in classes with them, and I feel really left out."
  • "There are kids who made fun of me in elementary school that are now in my lunch block, and I feel like they are staring and talking about me."
  • "I have no one to sit with at lunch—or at least no one I really want to sit with."
  • "I asked a girl to partner with me, and every time she says no, and that she she wants to work alone. But when another group asks her, she'll join them. I really don't know what to do now."

These are tough situations, and as parents, it's natural to want to fix them. But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is simply listen. Our daughters need to feel heard and validated. Acknowledge their...

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Understanding Teen Popularity

Jul 30, 2024

As I approached the start of 8th grade, my family moved to a new town several states away from where I had grown up. That summer, I was buzzing with dreams of becoming popular at my new middle school. Many girls envision returning to school and suddenly finding themselves part of the popular group. However, we often discover that reality doesn't live up to the lofty hopes and dreams we nurture over the summer.

This past weekend in The Brave Girl Tribe, the girls shared their own stories about friends who have left them behind for the more popular group. It’s a common experience, but that doesn’t make it any less challenging.

Understanding the different types of popularity and how perceptions change from the tween to teen years can help us better support our daughters. Let's explore these concepts and practical strategies to guide our girls in navigating their social worlds.

Types of Popularity

Research focuses on two different types of popularity: Status-Based Popularity...

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Empowering Our Daughters: Overcoming Bullying and Building Resilience

Jul 24, 2024

Empowering Your Daughter to Overcome Bullying

In The Brave Girl Tribe, many girls have courageously shared their experiences of being bullied by classmates and even friends. Hearing these stories has been incredibly helpful for others, showing them they are not alone and providing encouragement and support from their peers.

We understand the growing anxiety our girls may feel, especially during transitions such as moving into middle school or starting a new school. It's natural for them to worry about facing such challenges again.

Our goal is to equip you with strategies to help your daughter cope with past bullying experiences and empower her to rise above them and thrive.

Why is it so easy for our daughters to believe their bullies? Understanding this can help us better support our girls in building resilience against bullying.

8 Psychological Insights Into Why Girls Believe Their Bullies

  1. Negativity Bias: Our brains are wired to pay more attention to negative information. This...
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Boost your daughter's social skill with the 30-second Rule

Jun 27, 2024

I want to share a simple yet powerful guideline that can help our daughters become more thoughtful in their daily interactions. This insight, known as the '30-Second Rule,' comes from Ms. Natalie Ringold, a 4th-grade teacher who shares her wisdom on Instagram under the handle @always.upper.elementary. Through a compelling Instagram Reel, Ms. Ringold introduces us to this valuable concept, encouraging kindness and thoughtfulness in everyday moments.

The "30-Second Rule" is a simple yet effective guideline that can greatly improve social interactions: If someone can't change something about themselves in 30 seconds or less, then it's not something that should be pointed out.
For example, if someone has spinach in their teeth or a tag sticking out of their shirt—go ahead and tell them quietly. These are helpful comments because they can quickly rectify the issue. However, critiquing someone’s outfit, their body shape, color or texture of their hair, or any other aspect that...

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