When Big Moments Disappoint: Helping Your Daughter Cope with Letdowns Like Prom, Dances, and End-of-Year Events

When Big Moments Don't Go As Planned

Spring brings so many milestone moments for girls of all ages:
 The long-anticipated prom
 The excitement of an 8th grade dance
 The build-up to 6th grade graduation
 The pressure of the big game or final performance

These are events girls often spend weeks—or months—dreaming about. They imagine how it will look, what they’ll wear, who they’ll be with, and how it will feel. But sometimes, those big moments don’t go the way they hoped.

Maybe a friend bailed.
Maybe the group changed.
Maybe they didn’t get the part or place they wanted.
Maybe it just didn’t feel magical like they imagined.

When our daughters feel let down, left out, or disappointed, it’s tempting to try to cheer them up or explain it away. But what they really need is for us to help them feel seen, understood, and supported.

 Tips for Parents: Supporting Your Daughter When Things Don’t Go As Expected

1. Validate the Disappointment
Whether it’s not being invited, not placing in a competition, or feeling awkward at a dance—her feelings are real. Let her know it’s okay to feel hurt or let down.

Try:
 “You were really looking forward to that, and it makes total sense that you're upset.”

2. Check Your Own Expectations
Sometimes we’ve also built these moments up in our heads—so it can be hard to see them fall short. Be mindful not to project your own sadness or frustration onto your daughter. Stay grounded so you can be her safe place.

3. Talk About Expectations Before the Event
When possible, have a conversation ahead of time about what she’s hoping for and what might be out of her control. Ask:

• “What are you most excited about?”

• “What would make this feel meaningful?”

• “What’s something you’d like to remember, no matter how the night goes?”

4. Help Her Reflect and Reframe
After the event, give her space to feel her feelings. Then ask:

• “What part felt hardest?”

• “Was there anything that surprised you—in a good way?”

• “What might you do differently next time?”

 5. Offer a Do-Over or Meaningful Alternative
Sometimes a low-key celebration with a friend, a special dinner, or even a silly photo shoot at home can become a treasured memory when expectations aren’t met elsewhere.

Tips for Girls: When Things Don’t Go the Way You Imagined

Hey Brave Girl,
You had high hopes for that dance, that game, that award, that celebration. You might have imagined it a certain way—and now it just… doesn’t feel great.

Let’s take a deep breath. Then remember:

1. It’s Okay to Feel Sad or Disappointed
That doesn’t mean you’re being dramatic—it means you care. Let yourself feel it, and know you’re not alone. These feelings don’t last forever.

2. Big Moments Are Just One Part of Your Story
A single night, one game, or one group picture doesn’t define your whole year—or who you are. You are more than any event.

3. Everyone Else’s Highlight Reel Isn’t the Full Picture
Social media makes it look like everyone is having the best time—but that’s not always true. If it starts to feel heavy, it’s okay to step away for a bit and protect your peace.

4. You Get to Make Your Own Meaning
Sometimes the best memories come from unexpected places—quiet moments, inside jokes, or doing something kind for yourself. You still get to choose how to close out the year.

5. Something Better Might Still Be Ahead
This moment isn’t the end. It’s just a page in your story. More good things are coming—people who get you, moments that matter, and chances to shine in ways you never saw coming.

 Whether it’s prom, a dance, a final game, or graduation…
It’s okay if it didn’t go the way you imagined. You can feel all the feels and still move forward. You are allowed to be disappointed—and you are still deeply worthy, lovable, and enough.

 Is Your Daughter Struggling with Spring Stress, Social Shifts, or Feeling Left Out?

This time of year can feel heavy—especially for girls.
Maybe your daughter feels…

• Left out of the plans she thought she'd be part of

• Crushed that the big moment didn’t live up to her expectations

• Exhausted trying to keep up when everyone else seems to be thriving

• Stuck in her own head, wondering what she did wrong

You don't have to figure out how to support her alone—and she doesn’t have to carry it all by herself.

 The Brave Girl Tribe (for girls in 5th–8th grade)
We’re meeting TONIGHT at 7:00 PM - click here to join us as a guest.
If your daughter has been feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or excluded, this group is the perfect space for her to feel safe, supported, and surrounded by girls who get it. These conversations build confidence, emotional resilience, and self-worth.

 The High School Support Group
Next meeting: Sunday, May 12th - click here to join us as a guest.
High school girls need more than just academic support—they need a place to talk about what’s really going on. In this group, we help girls manage stress, process social and academic challenges, and answer the questions they’re afraid to ask out loud about high school, friendships, and the future. It’s where real growth and confidence begin.

Whatever season your daughter is in—prom night, the school dance, the championship game, or just feeling left out—remind her that her worth isn't tied to one event. The Brave Girl community is here to help her process the hard moments and find strength on the other side.

Wishing you and your daughter peace, perspective, and small moments of joy this season.

Warmly,

Laura Hayes
Founder of The Brave Girl Project
Life Coach for Tween & Teen Girls
www.TheBraveGirlProject.com
[email protected]