Navigating Worry, Anxiety, and Loss of Motivation with Your Daughter
Dec 12, 2023
In our most recent Brave Girl Tribe call, part of my Life Coaching Virtual program designed for girls in 5th to 8th grade, the girls bravely opened up about their experiences with worry and anxiety. Their courage shed light on a common struggle that many of our tweens and teens face.
This time of year, we often see an increase in worry and anxiety as the demands of school increase, friendship changes and breakdowns happen, and the winter gloomies start.
The Fear of Fear: Breaking the Worry Cycle
Some members of the Brave Girl Tribe opened up about fearing their own anxiety, particularly the worry of experiencing a panic attack. It's crucial to recognize that this fear can create a cycle that intensifies anxiety. In our discussions, we've emphasized that avoidance only strengthens worry.
The first step in encouraging our girls to manage their worry and anxiety is to externalize their worry by giving it a name. This helps our girls separate themselves from worry and not get down on themselves when worry or anxiety shows up. They can talk back to worry and even expect when worry will start to show up.
Learn How The Worry Cycle Works
The worry cycle starts first with a triggering event. This could be a strange look from a friend or a teacher's pop quiz announcement that leads to worried thoughts.
These worried thoughts activate the Amygdala, putting us into Fight, Flight, or Freeze mode by releasing adrenaline and shutting down unnecessary bodily functions such as digestion.
We begin to feel the effects of the adrenaline with our racing heart, butterflies in our stomachs, numb or shaky hands and legs, and we start to worry that something is wrong with us or this is a sign we need to avoid this situation.
Next, we start to have worried thoughts because of our physical reactions in our body, which sends a signal to the Amygdala to release even more life-saving chemicals to help us fight off this scary situation.
And we then find ourselves stuck in a cycle of worry.
DOWNLOAD: 7 Keys To Solving The Worry Puzzle to help support your daughter when worry arises.
Download now
Loss of Motivation:
It takes a lot of emotional and mental bandwidth for girls to manage their worries and struggles.
I have a lot of girls sharing that they are struggling in school and can't find the motivation they once had for keeping their grades up, turning in homework, and preparing for tests.
Being Overwhelmed Has Led To A Loss Of Motivation.
If your daughter is struggling, she is not alone, and she may be spending a lot of time worrying about how you will react or worrying that she is letting you down.
Remember that a lack of motivation is not because your daughter is lazy. It is because she is stuck in overwhelm, and does not know how or where to take action.
This winter break can be a time to rest and reset for the return to school in January. Begin by asking your daughter about her emotional and physical well-being and if she is feeling overwhelmed.
You might say:
"I wanted to check in and see how you are doing. I know that this time of year can often feel stressful and overwhelming, especially with the winter break approaching."
"I want to make sure you can enjoy the break while also preparing to reset and return to school in January."
"What is important for you to do during this winter break?"
"Are there specific areas at school that may be stressful to return to?"
"How can you support your future self in January by doing certain things over the break?"
One of my favorite tools to help girls move out of overwhelm is my Pomodoro Planning and Time Management Packet. View Now
Discover the Motivation Toolkit Course—
The Motivation Toolkit Course for Parents and Girls
This course is designed to help your daughter shift her mindset, overcome procrastination, and get back on track. With easy-to-follow tools and strategies, it’s perfect for both you and your daughter to navigate these common challenges together.
What’s Inside:
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3 Tips for Finding Motivation – Simple, science-backed strategies your daughter can use today.
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Parent Video: How to Be a Helpful, Not Pushy, Supporter – Learn how to guide her through the process without frustration.
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Procrastination Styles Video – Identify her personal procrastination habits and help her take action.
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Daily Affirmation Boosts – Short videos to build her confidence and keep her mindset strong.
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Motivation Meditation – A calming practice to help her reset and focus when feeling stuck.
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Downloadable PDFs – Worksheets and guides to help both of you stay on track and follow through.
If your daughter is feeling overwhelmed, left out, or unsure of herself during this season, she doesn’t have to go through it alone — and neither do you.
At The Brave Girl Project, we offer support to help girls build confidence, manage friendships, and handle the emotional ups and downs of growing up — with real tools that work.
✨ The Brave Girl Tribe (for girls in 5th–8th grade) meet weekly
✨ The High School Support Group (for girls in 9th–12th grade) meet bi-weekly
Both groups provide coaching, connection, and community — all in a safe, supportive space where girls feel heard, understood, and empowered.
Your daughter is invited to join us as a guest for an upcoming session!
👉 Click here to sign up your high school daughter as a guest in the High School Support Group
👉 Click here to sign up your middle school daughter as a guest in the Brave Girl Tribe
We’d love to welcome her and show her what it’s like to feel supported, confident, and seen — exactly as she is.
“Since joining, my daughter’s confidence has grown—and I feel less alone as a parent too.” – Brave Girl Parent
Wishing you and your families a peaceful and rejuvenating winter break.
Warmly,
Laura Hayes
Founder of The Brave Girl Project
Life Coach for Tween & Teen Girls
www.TheBraveGirlProject.com
[email protected]
