The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

This past Saturday, my son Logan and I participated in The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness Community Walk in Washington, DC.

In 2008, my family suffered a tremendous loss when we lost my father to suicide. Since then, my sisters and I have made it our mission to raise awareness and reduce the stigma surrounding mental health. My sister, Sarah Kurtz, chaired this year’s DC walk, and I couldn’t be prouder of the work she’s done.

Through this journey, I’ve learned just how critical it is to have open conversations about mental health, especially when it comes to our children and teens.

One of the greatest challenges in addressing mental health is the stigma that surrounds it. Many children and teens feel isolated and afraid to speak up about their feelings. By fostering open conversations, we can help normalize these discussions and ensure they feel safe to reach out for help.

It’s important to be aware of changes in...

Is your daughter struggling with a mean or disrespectful friend in her group?

Many girls I work with in coaching share this same challenge. It's heartbreaking to see how deeply it affects them, especially within their friendships.

Together, we explore why some people behave this way and, most importantly, how your daughter can respond with confidence and strength. By learning these skills, she can take back control of the situation and feel more empowered in her relationships.

When someone is mean or intentionally condescending, their goal is often to get an emotional reaction. They feel powerful when they provoke a response from others, and that reaction gives them the control they want.

Encouraging your daughter to recognize this can be a game-changer. Instead of reacting emotionally—whether by defending herself or becoming apologetic— Use these 6 steps

1. Pause Before Reacting: The first thing your daughter can do when someone is mean or condescending. By...

In our ongoing conversation about the complexities of mother-daughter relationships, this week we're tackling a particularly tricky subject that many of us encounter: passive-aggressive behavior in our teens.

Building on our previous discussion about supporting our daughters through passive-aggressive friendships, if you didn't get a chance to read last week's newsletter check out our blog post on The 5 Signs That Your Daughter Has A Passive Aggressive Friend.

Let's explore how these behaviors can emerge at home and what we can do to address them effectively.

What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior?

Passive-aggressive behavior is often a form of expressing anger or resentment indirectly. This can manifest through sarcasm, procrastination, or silent forms of resistance like the silent treatment or subtle sabotage. It's a sign that our teens may struggle with openly communicating their frustrations, often due to feelings of insecurity or an underdeveloped ability to...

Has your daughter ever come home in tears because of a friend who is acting mean, especially through passive-aggressive actions directed toward her?

This is a common theme that members of The Brave Girl Tribe frequently discuss during our calls, and it's also a challenge faced by many of my individual coaching clients.

Understanding and dealing with mean behavior can be perplexing and distressing for both parents and daughters. In this blog we'll dive into what passive-aggressive behavior really is, recognize the signs, and explore strategies to support your daughter through these challenging interactions.

This behavior might manifest as comments that seem polite on the surface but carry a hurtful undertone, or actions that appear cooperative but actually disrupt or delay outcomes. For example, it might look like giving a compliment that also sounds like a criticism, or agreeing to help with a school project but then procrastinating so much that it becomes unhelpful.

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As the new school year approaches, it's a great time to reflect on the valuable lessons and skills that can help our girls thrive in middle and high school. Transitioning to middle school can be a challenging time, filled with new experiences and expectations.
 Here are the three key takeaways that rising middle school girls need to know before starting middle school:

1. Friendships Evolve: Not everyone will remain a close friend, and that's okay. It's natural for friendships to change as you grow.
2. Self-Advocacy: Learn to speak up for yourself. Whether it's in class or with friends, expressing your needs and boundaries is crucial.
3. Organization is Key: Keeping track of assignments, due dates, and extracurricular activities can prevent overwhelm. Use planners or digital apps to stay organized.

Help Your Daughter with Back-to-School Worries: Is your child’s anxiety about the new school year starting to feel overwhelming? We understand the challenges these moments can...

Empowering Your Daughter to Overcome Bullying

In The Brave Girl Tribe, many girls have courageously shared their experiences of being bullied by classmates and even friends. Hearing these stories has been incredibly helpful for others, showing them they are not alone and providing encouragement and support from their peers.

We understand the growing anxiety our girls may feel, especially during transitions such as moving into middle school or starting a new school. It's natural for them to worry about facing such challenges again.

Our goal is to equip you with strategies to help your daughter cope with past bullying experiences and empower her to rise above them and thrive.

Why is it so easy for our daughters to believe their bullies? Understanding this can help us better support our girls in building resilience against bullying.

8 Psychological Insights Into Why Girls Believe Their Bullies

1. Negativity Bias: Our brains are wired to pay more attention to negative information. This...

Making friends in middle school can be effortless for some girls, while others may find it challenging to initiate and maintain friendships.

In my online community for girls in 5th to 8th grade, The Brave Girl Tribe, many members have expressed a desire for help in making new friends. We are dedicated to supporting them! During our meetings, we discuss strategies for making and maintaining friendships. The girls share their challenges and encourage each other with positive ideas and support

My new course, "Survive and Thrive in Middle School," includes a comprehensive section on navigating various social situations, which is often one of the biggest stressors for girls. Don't miss out on this opportunity to help your daughter thrive in her social life. Click here for a coupon

Here are some tips to help your daughter as she meets new people:

First impressions are incredibly powerful, especially when meeting new people. Encourage your daughter to be mindful of her body language, as it...

 In our ongoing discussions within The Brave Girl Tribe, our vibrant community for girls in 5th to 8th grade, a popular topic has emerged—building confidence in uncomfortable situations.

Our members shared stories about times they felt out of place or nervous, sparking a meaningful conversation and a desire to learn to be more confident when uncomfortable.

We all feel awkward or intimidated, especially in unfamiliar situations or around people we don’t know well. Our worry tries to protect us, making us crave comfort and predictability. When life becomes uncertain, this worry can make us uncomfortable and shake our confidence.

As parents and educators supporting girls, it's crucial to understand the challenges they face. Research on tween and teen girls has revealed several key insights about building confidence.

Here are the realities for our girls:

Studies show that girls' confidence levels drop significantly, with a 30% decrease between ages 8 and 14.
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Summer should be a time of joy and freedom, yet it often brings unique social challenges, especially for our girls.

Many parents have reached out to me this summer seeking advice on supporting their daughters who are navigating social hurdles. These girls are anxious about encountering their ex-best friends at summer gatherings, feel discouraged from participating in activities due to 'Mean Girls' at camp or work, and struggle with feelings of isolation because they aren't in the popular group.

I understand how tough it can be to see your daughter come home in tears with you left wondering, "Why is this happening to my daughter? How can I ease her pain?"

While these situations are undoubtedly challenging, they also provide invaluable opportunities to develop resilience and confidence.

 Validating Experiences and Finding Solutions

As parents, it's crucial to acknowledge and validate your daughter's feelings when she faces social challenges. A simple acknowledgment can go a long...

Anxiety can build as final exams and standardized testing season approaches. It’s a critical time for our students, especially those managing ADHD. Let’s explore how we can help our daughters feel less overwhelmed and more empowered during this stressful time of year.

Navigating the educational journey with your tween or teen girl can be both rewarding and challenging, particularly when ADHD is part of the equation. This condition can affect executive functioning, making it difficult for your daughter to plan, prioritize, and execute tasks. Understanding this can help us support them better.

Instead of asking, "Have you started studying for your finals?" here are some other helpful ways to check in with your daughter that hopefully won't shut her down, especially if she procrastinates because of stress. 

When we check in, ask:

"How can I help you study for your finals?"
"Would it be helpful for me to be an accountability partner to help keep you focused and on...