The Brave Girl Blog Navigating Friendship Challenges and Confidence

This past Saturday, my son Logan and I participated in The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness Community Walk in Washington, DC.

In 2008, my family suffered a tremendous loss when we lost my father to suicide. Since then, my sisters and I have made it our mission to raise awareness and reduce the stigma surrounding mental health. My sister, Sarah Kurtz, chaired this year’s DC walk, and I couldn’t be prouder of the work she’s done.

Through this journey, I’ve learned just how critical it is to have open conversations about mental health, especially when it comes to our children and teens.

One of the greatest challenges in addressing mental health is the stigma that surrounds it. Many children and teens feel isolated and afraid to speak up about their feelings. By fostering open conversations, we can help normalize these discussions and ensure they feel safe to reach out for help.

It’s important to be aware of changes in...

Is your daughter struggling with a mean or disrespectful friend in her group?

Many girls I work with in coaching share this same challenge. It's heartbreaking to see how deeply it affects them, especially within their friendships.

Together, we explore why some people behave this way and, most importantly, how your daughter can respond with confidence and strength. By learning these skills, she can take back control of the situation and feel more empowered in her relationships.

When someone is mean or intentionally condescending, their goal is often to get an emotional reaction. They feel powerful when they provoke a response from others, and that reaction gives them the control they want.

Encouraging your daughter to recognize this can be a game-changer. Instead of reacting emotionally—whether by defending herself or becoming apologetic— Use these 6 steps

1. Pause Before Reacting: The first thing your daughter can do when someone is mean or condescending. By...

It can be so tough supporting our daughters through their ups and downs. I know that it can feel overwhelming at times, especially when it seems like we’re carrying the weight of their emotions.

That’s why this week, I recorded a podcast episode just for you on How To Handle Your Daughter's Tough Emotions Without Feeling Overwhelmed: Tips for Moms. 

In the episode, we explore what emotional dumping looks like, how to spot when it’s happening, and, most importantly, how to guide our daughters toward handling their own emotions in healthy ways. If you're short on time, here’s a sneak peek at some key takeaways that you can apply today:

1. Venting or Problem-Solving?

One of the most helpful ways to manage these tough conversations is to ask your daughter, "Do you just want to vent, or are you looking for advice?" This simple question sets the tone, so you're not left guessing whether she wants a listening ear or help...

In our ongoing conversation about the complexities of mother-daughter relationships, this week we're tackling a particularly tricky subject that many of us encounter: passive-aggressive behavior in our teens.

Building on our previous discussion about supporting our daughters through passive-aggressive friendships, if you didn't get a chance to read last week's newsletter check out our blog post on The 5 Signs That Your Daughter Has A Passive Aggressive Friend.

Let's explore how these behaviors can emerge at home and what we can do to address them effectively.

What is Passive-Aggressive Behavior?

Passive-aggressive behavior is often a form of expressing anger or resentment indirectly. This can manifest through sarcasm, procrastination, or silent forms of resistance like the silent treatment or subtle sabotage. It's a sign that our teens may struggle with openly communicating their frustrations, often due to feelings of insecurity or an underdeveloped ability to...

Has your daughter ever come home in tears because of a friend who is acting mean, especially through passive-aggressive actions directed toward her?

This is a common theme that members of The Brave Girl Tribe frequently discuss during our calls, and it's also a challenge faced by many of my individual coaching clients.

Understanding and dealing with mean behavior can be perplexing and distressing for both parents and daughters. In this blog we'll dive into what passive-aggressive behavior really is, recognize the signs, and explore strategies to support your daughter through these challenging interactions.

This behavior might manifest as comments that seem polite on the surface but carry a hurtful undertone, or actions that appear cooperative but actually disrupt or delay outcomes. For example, it might look like giving a compliment that also sounds like a criticism, or agreeing to help with a school project but then procrastinating so much that it becomes unhelpful.

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As our daughters embark on their middle school journey, they navigate a complex maze of social, emotional, and academic transformations. Understanding these pivotal changes is crucial in providing them with the support they need.

To further aid you and your daughter during this transition, I offer a course titled 'Survive & Thrive in Middle School.' This course is designed to empower both parents and daughters by addressing the key challenges that middle school brings. It includes modules on how to manage changing friendships, increase self-esteem, handle academic pressures, and navigate the often turbulent social waters of middle school life.

Additionally, the course provides parents with essential guidance on managing their own uncertainties and stresses about middle school, offering strategies to support their daughters effectively. With a mix of video lessons, downloadable PDFs, and interactive activities, the course provides practical strategies and tools to help your...

It's not uncommon for our daughters to come home early in the school year and share that they're not thrilled about a teacher.

This can be frustrating, especially when we're all hoping for a smooth start. Here are some ways we can support our daughters through this challenge:

Listen and Validate Her Feelings
Give her space to talk about how she's feeling without jumping to conclusions or judgments. Listen closely and show empathy. It’s okay for her to feel upset or frustrated, and acknowledging these feelings can make a big difference.

Understand the Root of the Issue
Gently ask questions to find out what's really going on. Is it a clash in personalities, a teaching style that doesn’t resonate, or a specific incident? If you can, try to observe a class or have a brief chat with the teacher to get a broader perspective.

Encourage Problem-Solving
Guide your daughter in pinpointing the exact issues she's facing. Together, brainstorm ways she might address these concerns. For...

The start of the school year is a very stressful time of year and settling into a schedule can feel like it takes quite a bit of time.  I’m still trying to settle into my own school schedule. If your daughter hasn’t quite figured out her routine yet, don’t sweat it—it takes time to adjust to the new back-to-school rhythm.

Here are 5 tailored tips to help manage these back-to-school schedule challenges, especially if your daughter is feeling worn out or, like me, caught the inevitable back-to-school cold:

1. Prioritizing Sleep:
Sleep significantly impacts health, especially during the teenage years. Striving for 9 to 12 hours per night can seem daunting, but it’s essential for both physical health and academic performance. To help, work backwards from the time she needs to be at school to determine her ideal bedtime. This ensures she can complete her morning routine without rushing and still get ample sleep.

2. Creating a Visual Schedule:
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As the new school year begins, many of our daughters are facing back-to-school challenges, which can bring up feelings of exclusion, loneliness, and uncertainty. I've heard several girls share common experiences during this time:

• "My friends are talking about things that I am not a part of since I'm not in classes with them, and I feel really left out."
• "There are kids who made fun of me in elementary school that are now in my lunch block, and I feel like they are staring and talking about me."
• "I have no one to sit with at lunch—or at least no one I really want to sit with."
• "I asked a girl to partner with me, and every time she says no, and that she she wants to work alone. But when another group asks her, she'll join them. I really don't know what to do now."

These are tough situations, and as parents, it's natural to want to fix them. But sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is simply listen. Our daughters need to feel heard and validated. Acknowledge their...

As our kids return to school, the excitement of reuniting with friends often comes mixed with anxieties about past conflicts and evolving social dynamics. It's normal for daughters to worry about questions like:

• "Is my friend still mad about that huge mix-up we had last year? I hope it’s not weird between us now."
• "Did my friends hang out a lot without me this summer? What if they’re not that into me anymore?"
• "What if I don’t have any classes or even lunch with my friends? That would totally suck."
• "Are my friends still caught up in all that drama from last year? I really don’t want to deal with more of them hating on each other."

These concerns can transform into nighttime worries, making it difficult for girls to sleep and start the school year with confidence.

To help manage these fears, it's crucial we teach our daughters how to control negative thoughts. Understanding the 9 Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) and how to counteract them with...